"You could be forgiven for believing that the life of a Lord would be a easy one. Fancy food served on silver platters, all the latest mod cons at my disposal (perched something called a 'twin tub' just yesterday) and a Jeeves to wait on me hand and foot and make sure my every whim is provided for. However you would be wrong.
The life of a lord can infact be a very stressful one. Lady Hillsborough is a rather spirited and high maintenance filly, the Hillsborough estate doesn't run itself and Cook just can't seem to get the consistency of my scrambled eggs correct.
Seeing that I was starting to become distressed, the ever-vigilant Jeeves suggested that watching the highlights of the 1991 promotion season might lighten my mood.
This seemed like a sterling idea and Jeeves promptly brought the new fangled internet box and found the suggested video. I sat back, feet aloft, Pimms in one hand, pheasant leg in t'other, fully expecting the nostalgia to wash my lordly cares away.
I saw the goals start to fly in by the sublime Messrs Hirst, Williams, and Sheridan. The trickery of specialist set pieces from Messrs Harkes and Worthington. And even the odd spot of defensive brilliance all lead by our fearless captain, the ever present Mr Pearson. True enough that I did start to feel much better. However there was something that still didn't sit quite right in my noble noggin. Each time the keeper was shown, whether it was Mr Pressman or Mr Turner, it was as the opposition was scoring. "Not to worry" I thought to myself surely we can't have a highlights video, of a full season, without seeing some expert goalkeeping by our cat like shot stoppers. But alas only one save was shown, for the whole season!
"JEEVES" I cried "Jeeves, do you recall this fine and famous season"
"Certainly my Lord" came the reply.
"And do you remember the chaps betwixt the sticks being particularly poor" I asked.
"Of course not my lord, why the Owls have always had such a fine stock of goalkeepers"
"My sentiments exactly" I exclaimed. "Then why, oh why are they not shown Jeeves" "Surely the saves are as important as the goals"
"Alas Sir, I believe that the saves are far more likely to be forgotten".
At this point I was tempted to have Jeeves flogged for such a statement. But wait I thought to myself. Could I, the Lord of Hillsborough be guilty of such a scandalous indiscretion? Obviously I couldn't mention this to Jeeves - the staff have to see me nothing short of absolutely super you understand - but still as soon as he had left my chamber I started to search for 'SWFC goalkeeping highlights'.
I envisaged seeing our brave last men flying throughout the air. Chortling to myself seeing those opposition rapscallion's faces as their best attempts were foiled by such fine chaps as Mr's Woods, Carson, Lucas and Grant just to name a few. Not to mention our current crop.
I imagined the very Owl itself, proudly worn on the chest of our heroes, gave a little cheeky wink to the would be goalscorer as if to say "better luck next time old chap, now jog on".
Foremost in my mind was 'that save' made by Mr Chris Turner in the Rumbelows League Cup Final - that I had always considered to be (along with Mr Sheridan's goal of course) the key to that famous victory.
If memory served me correctly, the shot had come in from Brian McClair and Mr Turner had accomplished a wonderful save, tipping it over the bar. I can remember thinking at the time (although I was still in short trousers, and my voice was a little higher), "Hoooorah, that fine Mr Turner chap has saved the day again. Those pesky Manc fellows will surely just throw in the towel now, why we've shown them who's boss".
But the save could not be found. I watched many a highlight video of the final. Seeing Mr Sheridan fire in his wonder goal time and time again, a sight that will never grow old I hasten to add. But no save.
I came to the conclusion that video of Sheffield Wednesdays fine goalkeeping traditions were sorridly absent on the interweb and instructed Jeeves to immediately dig out my VHS collection and resurrect my copy of 'Will to Win'.
Admittedly this was quite a task. The tape was found forthwith but finding something to play it on did become something of a drama. However, soon enough my goalkeeping thirst had been quenched and I decided to forward an invitation to Mr Turner for afternoon 'Twitter' tea.
I explained my earlier predicament to Mr Turner and my distress to what could only be described as a lack of respect for his profession.
"I think we did have some work that season, I remember being rather busy in our 3-1 victory at Upton Park" he replied.
"Quite so" I thought to myself.
I proceeded to ask what he thought his finest save was and his most fond memory.
"Obviously the Wembley save off Brian McClair. And winning the cup"
"The Wembley save" I thought to myself. Mr Sheridan's goal is always referred to as his Wembley Goal (as it should be) but this was the first time it had crossed my tiny upper-class mind to refer to 'that save' as "The Wembley Save"
I profusely thanked Mr Turner for his time (I sentiment I would now like to reiterate in public) and once again sat myself down for a think and came to this conclusion.
From this moment hence forth, I shall endeavour to make it my Lordly duty to ensure that the goal keepers of our fine club, and the saves they make, receive equal historical value as our most prolific goalscorers and their famous goals. Never again shall I allow game winning saves to be confined to VHS tapes stored in the depths of the Hillsborough Estate. And I urge, nay plea, for any loyal, right-thinking, blue-bleeding Wednesdayites to do the very same.
After all, we're all Wednesday aren't we?! Even the Keepers."
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