Last Updated on Tuesday, 28 February 2012 12:52
"I'm not nervous about Sundays game, in fact I'm quite confident that we will win. I stopped being nervous earlier this week whilst looking at the league table and this weekend fixtures. It suddenly occurred to me that I don't need to be nervous because I'm going to make us win.
Some call it being superstitious but I do actually control Sheffield Wednesday and I have already started the ball rolling to ensure we win.
I quite often see magpies on the way to work, obviously I salute them and tell them where I'm going but it still gives a sense of uneasiness. Not this week though. This week I have tried my best to stop using my peripheral vision when driving so that I won't have to see these symbols of potential defeat on Sunday. I do not advocate this, it is dangerous and stupid, but sometimes you have to take one for the team. The good news is I have managed to avoid seeing these birds so far, and that has made me start to feel a little bit confident.
On the big day I plan to wake up in my SWFC pyjamas, shower and dry myself in my SWFC towel, wear my Owl knickers, Owl dress, Owl socks, Owl necklace and Owl brooch, use my Owl lip balm, check it looks ok in my SWFC mirror, eat breakfast from my SWFC bowl, drink from a SWFC mug and then set off to the match. I will have to do random things that my Obssessive Wednesday Disorder makes me do, eg. jumping at random times, touching certain objects, guessing the time and getting it right etc. I will have to do the rituals that all sensible Wednesday fans do getting to the ground: leaving the house on my right foot, chasing after black cats in the neighbourhood, not walking on the cracks in the pavement, touching certain signs etc.I could go on but I wouldn't want to look weird.
The tricky bit is in the ground when I will have make contact with the grass, I usually get off lightly by being very apologetic and acting naive (I hate it when there's female stewards about), and on the occassions when I have got a photo with a player they always have a brilliant game. I will also have to eat a Mr Tom bar (shirt sponsors 1991/92) at half time - the last essential ritual that has been known to save the day when all else fails - remember October? Yep, all down to the Mr Tom.
Whilst looking at the league table and the fixtures I worked out what would happen if things don't go our way this weekend, and I mean the worse case scenario. I don't know why I did this, It was like being one of those people who stops to look at car crashes and I instantly regretted it.
I stopped being nervous at that point, and the terror set in. Unfortunately I'm not looking forward to the game, even though I think we'll win. Yes it will be an amazing atmosphere and I'll be sat with the greatest fans in the world, its just that I'll be biting my nails (runining my lovely blue and white nail polish), and I can't stand Mr Tom bars."
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